Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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