READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
