I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize