Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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