Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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