He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want a musical about memes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize