I've blown a few things in my day
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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