yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
