Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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