oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
