I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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