It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
