Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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