There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
