he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
