but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
