3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
