You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
