Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
