Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
