Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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