wrigley field is MILF paradise
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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