hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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