No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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