im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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