White coat. Heels.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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