dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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