He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
