my shit smells like andre
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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