Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
