I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
