We're like a lot better than the average bears
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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