He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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