So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Be still, my beating vagina.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
