He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His hands were made for my vagina.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
