I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
