OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
