i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
