flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
