How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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