the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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