she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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