I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize