her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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