This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
