your thong is hanging out like whoa
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
