At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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