You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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