would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
