We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
