Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
