And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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