I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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