There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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