It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize