Betty ford says i'm here all night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
