it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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