glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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