The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
