Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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