so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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