i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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