32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
