I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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