kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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