have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
