how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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