Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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