I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
