I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
