I wannas sexs uuuuu
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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