I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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