did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
