I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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