I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i came on her dog
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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