i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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